Every week, a diverse panel of Bon Temps residents gather to watch and discuss each new episode of HBO's True Blood. The sessions are moderated by Nina Harken, PhD candidate interested in finding out what the real folks of Bon Temps think of the portrayal of their town and their people on HBO's hit series.
NATHAN Whoa. NINA You could say that again. Okay. Where to begin? MADISON I can't believe he just ripped out his spine like that. That was so gross. CHUCK I ain't never seen anyone do that. You? ELIJAH Can't say that I have. And I have seen quite a bit. HENRIETTA Disgusting. See? See what those vampires really want? To eat our children. Lord save us all. NINA Remember, Henrietta, this is just a TV show. It's not necessarily true. NATHAN Why don't we ask them? [Elijah and Chuck share a glance] ELIJAH While I understand the fear this may cause, I can tell you the vampires in the real Bon Temps are not planning any such event. CHUCK Right. NATHAN How can we trust you, though? ELIJAH You will just have to take my word. BYRON It was also a great play on today's media. With 24-hour news channels, people are rarely shocked by any breaking news anymore. That was certainly shocking. MADISON And then he throws it to Tiffany with the weather. Hilarious. NINA Let's move the discussion a little bit. What about the other vampires? MADISON Eric and Pam? How sad was that? And they were locked down and everything. BYRON The vampire guards or, I believe they were referred to as the V-Fed? They were quite impressive. MADISON Like Robocops. And now Eric has permission to kill Russell. You know, I actually felt kinda bad for Russell. He was so sad when he found Talbot. TRACY What was left of him, anyway. MADISON But Franklin came back. TRACY Only to be killed. BYRON Tara was very strong to go seek help with a support group. That isn't easy for anyone. HENRIETTA It is about time that poor girl finds some help. And it was none other than Jason Stackhouse to come to her rescue. Sent by God. TRACY That Sam finally flipped the hell out, beatin' that guy to death. CHUCK He wasn't dead yet. Close, though. TRACY He's no good. He deserves it. NATHAN He does? We don't even know anything about him except he's Crystal's dad. I wish they'd just spill out that storyline already. They're clearly something. MADISON Same thing with Sookie. Seriously, what is she? NATHAN Yeah... ELIJAH Now, I have partaken in my share of blood types, but I have never traveled to another world. NATHAN Yeah... No, yeah. It felt like kind of a cop out so Bill could learn what the hell she is. He's had her blood before and never went to ... wherever... MADISON But he had a lot. I thought that was the point. NATHAN I guess. Just seemed like, cheap. CHUCK Speakin' of cheap - how 'bout that Tommy-boy's date? ELIJAH Right up your alley, Charles? CHUCK Can't blame the boy for havin' a good time. MADISON But I thought he liked Jessica. Then Hoyt still likes Jessica. TRACY Hoyt's "girlfriend" -- she's got to die. Soon. MADISON Maybe Jessica will kill her! Her fangs popped out when she was gonna shake her hand. NINA It's nice to see a human story -- even though it technically involves a vampire. What else? BYRON I am curious to know what the jaguar tattoo symbolizes with Jesus. MADISON Is he a shifter? Or a were... something? NATHAN That seems kind of obvious. ELIJAH I thought those kind were known to be obvious. TRACY What does that mean? ELIJAH Well it seems to me that the Weres... as portrayed in the show, of course... they are all very clear. Rather gruff, if you know what I mean. Jesus is... not. TRACY You mean white trash, don't you? That's what you mean by gruff. [Tracy snarls and Elijah bares his fangs.] NINA Tracy, Tracy, please. Elijah? [Elijah retracts his fangs.] ELIJAH My apologies. NINA Maybe this is a good place to stop. We've only got a few episodes left, folks. NATHAN Let's hope they bring together all of these stories. Feels like everything's set up. Just has to fall into place. NINA We'll just have to wait and see. See you all next week. This column is a parody of the Gothic fantasy series, True Blood, and as such, is presented here for your amusement. "Reality Bites" and the various writers that contribute to it, have no relationship/affiliation to HBO, True Blood, or any of the cast or crew of said nor any relation to Charlaine Harris's Sookie Stackhouse novels. Authors: Sarah Pugh & Cory Brin Header: K. Rosehttp://truebloodnet.com http://truebloodnet.com/community http://truebloodnet.com/forums
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