Every week, a diverse panel of Bon Temps residents gather to watch and discuss each new episode of HBO's True Blood. The sessions are moderated by Nina Harken, a PhD candidate interested in finding out what the real folks of Bon Temps think of the portrayal of their town and their people on HBO's hit series.
Session #2 - Premiere NINA Okay, welcome back, and here we are right after viewing the first episode of Season 3. A lot going on. I'm sure you all have your opinions and I'd love to hear them, so let's just go around the room. Remember, I ask you to be honest and respectful of those speaking. HENRIETTA Thank you, Ms. Nina. While I understand it was not the center of this episode, I must say that I am thrilled that God has returned - and not in the fanatical sense that was last season. The attempt that Tara's mama made to save her daughter by bringing her back to God was a glorious gesture. NATHAN Well..the Bill and Sam thing...you know...the...moment...or whatever...was, uh, interesting... ELIJAH Yes, it was. NATHAN But, I mean, there was no shortage of nudity across the board. ELIJAH Mmmm-hmmm. Eric? Check. Sam? Check. Dear William? Check. And of course, a few choice ladies flautin' their wares...Mmm...delicious. HENRIETTA Oh, my. ELIJAH Come now, Ms. Hawthorne. It's just God's creatures in all their glory. NINA Anything else, Elijah? ELIJAH Mmmmm...I do appreciate the representation of their Magister - certainly a prick. NINA Tracy? TRACY Well.. I'm not really sure...it's as though just when I thought I'd have something to say about the episode, it was over. CHUCK Yeah. Nothin' happened. It was like a whole bunch of set-ups with no pay-off. Damn. A whole hour of sittin' and waitin' for something to happen. It's like the only thing that caught my attention, besides the titties, was the car flippin' over. NINA I see. Thank you. Byron? BYRON Yes, ma'am. First, being a former military man, I was impressed to see Terry reaching out to Andy, even though it wasn't necessarily Andy who was in need. I also understand first hand what Jason is going through. It'll be interesting to see how that issue is resolved. MADISON And O.M.Godric - Eric. So sexy. [MRS. AVERY Madison!] MADISON Mom... Oh, and six hours? Is that even possible? ELIJAH There are twelve hours of darkness in the winter months. HENRIETTA Child, you watch your mouth. No girl your age should be havin' such comments. MADISON Yeah... anyway.. um, I don't know - I felt kinda bad for Jessica. I mean, she was all alone after killing somebody. Bill wasn't around to help her out and then Hoyt was all giving her flowers and he was all upset that she hung up on him but then those girls wanted to do stuff and Hoyt wouldn't do it-- so cute. NINA Thank you, everyone. Now, I noticed that not a single one of you brought up Sookie and Bill - other than Bill's moment with Sam. Would anyone like to comment? CHUCK All I gotta say is they keep showin' that scene on the previews where Sookie is over Eric in nothin' but a bra and panties - now when's that gonna happen? NINA Okay -- CHUCK I mean it. Love that girl's rack. TRACY ...Real Classy... CHUCK You're one to talk. HENRIETTA I for one hope that Mr. Compton does not make it back to Bon Temps. Then Sookie can settle down with a nice, God-fearing man, like that Hoyt. MADISON But Hoyt loves Jessica. ELIJAH Hoyt only loves the fact that Jessica is a vampire because that makes her different, like him. But I can understand why he loves vampires. [Elijah leans back in his chair and grins.] NATHAN I found it interesting that Bill didn't actually kill that old woman. I mean she was old and lived by herself. Nobody would have noticed that she was gone. We know Bill can kill, as we saw with Uncle Bartlett. Maybe Sookie has actually reawakened the human parts of Bill. I'd like to see them get back together so that story line can develop. ELIJAH You're not as dumb as I thought you were. NATHAN And you're not as attractive as you think you are. [Elijah's fangs descend and slams his palms on the table.] NINA Gentleman please, this isn't helping. Byron, you've been quiet. BYRON The leader of the faction attempting to kidnap Mr. Compton clearly did not instill a sense of discipline in his men. They were very disorganized, which was evident by the fact that Mr. Compton escaped. If those men were indeed werewolves, then I don't think Mr. Compton will be so easily apprehended in the future. TRACY It was only the first episode. NINA So it was. Well, I think that's a good start for now. We'll all meet back here next Sunday at 9PM so we can sink our teeth into the next episode of True Blood. This column is a parody of the Gothic fantasy series, True Blood, and as such, is presented here for your amusement. "Reality Bites" and the various writers that contribute to it, have no relationship/affiliation to HBO, True Blood, or any of the cast or crew of said nor any relation to Charlaine Harris's Sookie Stackhouse novels. Header Credit: K. Rose Authors: Cory Brin and Sarah Pughhttp://truebloodnet.com http://truebloodnet.com/community http://truebloodnet.com/forums
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